Ditch The Blame, Win the Game

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“The gym I train at takes too much of a cut and doesn’t help me get clients”

“The economy is poor and it’s making it impossible to make a profit”

“Things are different in my town/state/country/continent/planet”

“Taxes are too high”

“People don’t want to pay what I want to charge”

I’ve been hearing these comments and hundreds more besides on a weekly basis for as long as I’ve been a trainer, coach, trainer of coaches and coach to trainers… and they STILL make me really sad.

You’d think that with all the new resources and systems and strategies and blueprints on offer to grow a business and build a great life that more and more people would be experiencing success and happiness but that seems not to be the case.

It seems that more and more people have just found more and more people and resources and systems and strategies to blame for why they can’t have things the way they want them to be.

Trouble is, blame changes nothing.

Well, that’s not quite true.

Blame DOES change something.

It changes how YOU show up in the world.

See, when you’re intent on blaming people and organisations and governments and things for why you aren’t experiencing life the way you want to experience it, you stop taking the actions that would get you past those things and deliver you the outcomes you most want.

You start to build a mindset of lack and limitation and, in doing so, you create all the reasons you need to make less of a commitment to your success and happiness.

1. “The gym I train at takes too much of a cut and doesn’t help me get clients”

Did they promise you that they would? Is that part of your contract with them? If it is, hold them to their contract and demand the help or a lower commitment… or leave.

If they didn’t then what are you blaming them for?

They’re a business, they offered you space and facilities for a certain fee or percentage and you agreed. What good does blame do in this situation?

If you don’t like it then go elsewhere but don’t STAY and blame. It hurts YOU more than you know… then again, you already know how much it’s hurting you, right?

2. “The economy is poor and it’s making it impossible to make a profit”

The economy is the economy. It’s completely separate to your struggles and so blaming it makes no sense and only serves to harm you and your business.

If the economy had the power over your clients spending habits that you believe it does, then they wouldn’t have iPhones and iPads and satellite TV and eat out at weekends and go to the movies and smoke cigarettes or drink alcohol and take vacations.

These are all DISCRETIONARY spends.

In other words, these are all things that people spend their money on that have nothing to do with their necessities like mortgage, rent, taxes, food, utilities and medical expenses.

Another word for discretionary spends is ‘Luxury’.

Your personal training, bootcamp or coaching is, in fact, a luxury so if people are choosing not to spend their discretionary money on you because they prefer to spend it on something else then how is the economy to blame?

And what good does blaming it do you?

As with all luxury spends, the purchasing decision comes down to one thing and one thing only. DESIRE.

So, instead of blaming the economy, why not start creating something that people with discretionary spending ability would desire. I mean REALLY desire?

No-one NEEDS an iPhone but plenty want one because Apple created desire around them.

No-one NEEDS a trainer or gym membership either….

The economy is irrelevant.

And so is blaming it.

3. “Things are different in my town/state/country/continent/planet”

No they’re not.

Not really.

There are human beings living there with human wants, needs and desires.

There are people who struggle financially, for sure, but they’re not the primary buyers of luxury goods, are they?

Your town still has business owners. It still has restaurants. It still has pubs. It still has places where people go to spend their money on things they WANT rather than just the things they need.

Every town has the ‘posh’ restaurant or two among the cheaper ones.

Every town has the ‘posh’ hair salons and nail bars among the cheaper ones too.

Every town has the ‘posh’ end of town where the wealthier residents live.

When you pretend that these places don’t exist and that you don’t have the opportunities you want then you also start to blame geography.

Doesn’t make sense really, does it?

Your town, in all likelihood, existed long before you chose to become a trainer or a coach, didn’t it?

So what’s to blame?

The town? The geography?

Doing so only serves to keep you stuck and stagnant and stressed out.

Success leaves clues.

Even in your town.

Are you looking for them?

If not, why not?

4. “Taxes are too high”

Yep. Taxes are high.

So now what?

Blame them for affecting your profits or figure out how to both earn more money and become more tax effective?

Taxes are here to stay and, in all likelihood, are only ever going to change in one direction… upward.

So do what the wealthy do and learn how to spend as much of your money (legally) BEFORE paying taxes.

And learn how to set your prices so that you end up with what you want AFTER taxes have been paid.

Or don’t.

And blame taxes for your struggles.

But where will that get you?

5. “People don’t want to pay what I want to charge”

Not PEOPLE.

Just the people you’ve been marketing to.

So, market to new people.

People who see value in what you do and how you do it.

People who see value in YOU.

And how will they see that if you’re showing up weak, struggling, unhappy and full of blame?

Would YOU want that in a coach that YOU were giving money to to help you to overcome YOUR struggles?

It’s not that people don’t want to pay what you want to charge.

It’s that SOME people don’t want to pay for what you deliver.

So upgrade what you deliver.

Play a bigger game.

Demand more from your clients than they’ve ever demanded of themselves.

Demand more from YOU and show up as someone who’s CREATING life they way they want it rather than someone who’s REACTING to life because of ‘the cards they’ve been dealt’.

But stop blaming.

Don’t blame anyone or anything FOR anything.

That includes yourself!

You’re NOT lazy, you’re NOT weak willed, you’re NOT self-sabotaging, you’re NOT stupid, you’re NOT ‘bad’, you’re NOT wrong.

Like I say to my clients all the time, you’re simply using a strategy that is unlikely to EVER get you to where you want to go.

Blame is a strategy. But it’s a poor one.

A VERY poor one.

Because it keeps the problem ‘out there’ when the only place to find the solution is ‘in here’. In you.

Blame stops you from showing up.

Either out of frustration, anger, petulance, hopelessness or even the shame that builds up from feeling ‘weak’ in the face of your struggles.

And if you don’t show up, ESPECIALLY as a coach then nothing happens, nothing changes and nothing gets better.

So ditch the blame.

You’re better than that.

We all are.

Stop with the finger pointing and start focusing on showing up.

There’s no magic formula for success, no matter what anyone tells you.

Those who show up win.

It’s that simple.

Truth, joy and love

Dax

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